Selling Your Soul
Let’s start with a confession but not the usual, wholesome, forgive me father type of confession. I mean the real kind!
The type of confession whispered at midnight, when your own shadow leans in. If you strip away the theatrics, the flames and the weird Latin chanting performed by people who definitely failed their GCSE’s. One truth remains:
Everyone, deep down, loves the idea of selling their soul.
Before you clutch your prison issue rosary beads or the bible you nicked from that hotel you stayed at in 1997… Relax!
I’m talking about my new favourite corner of the internet:
SoulExchangeAuthority.com The world’s only official and moderately reliable digital crossroads.
Let me explain to you why I built The Soul Exchange Authority
This is a tale of ink, money, demonic whispers and one very confused accountant.
Cast your mind back to 2008, Britain’s economy was wobbling like a 3 legged goat on a trampoline. Every street echoed recession, every shopkeeper muttered doom and I was the proud owner of a tattoo studio, watching as my bank account shrivelled like a vampire in sunlight.
One particular day, I was tattooing an accountant.
He was a serious numbers man. The sort of guy who could look at a spreadsheet and instantly calculate how many people were lying.
I was mid needle, in that sacred state where artistic clarity meets the smell of green soap, when I verbalised my thought.
What if I started buying people’s souls and then sold them to the Devil for a profit?
The accountant didn’t even flinch. Which is worrying, if you think about it. There I was, focused on shading a skull on his arm and secretly running the maths. I imagined it would be a nice little side hustle:
Acquire souls and sell them to the Devil for… What? £50?
Maybe even a backstage pass to an Alice Cooper concert?
I know the plan wasn’t ethical but in times of crisis, creativity blossoms. I joked about it with the accountant, he laughed and we both carried on like it was nothing but something inside me, some mischievous, demonic seed woke up that day. I never forgot about it and for years afterward, the idea simmered in my Book of Undecipherable Scribbles™. A notebook so chaotic it could be mistaken for a cursed grimoire or the setlist for a punk band that only plays during solar eclipses.
Every now & then, I’d write down another idea:
Soul Valuation Department…
Crossroads Certified inspectors!
Afterlife Parking Permits???
Do demons accept PayPal?
You know, proper sensible business planning!
The more I returned to the idea, the more it sprouted arms, legs, horns and a very nice, stylish cloak.
I realised this wasn’t just a joke.
It was a calling, a necessity… A public service even!
17 Years later, with a mischievous grin and an unholy amount of caffeine, the Soul Exchange Authority finally clawed its way into existence.
A place where mortals can unburden themselves and declare their truest desires in exchange for a measly mortal soul.
So why should you visit?
Because deep down, you’ve always wondered what your soul might be worth on the open market, because paperwork is more fun when it might curse you, because you’re already here and because you’re curious, admit it. Welcome to the crossroads, wanderer.
We’ve been expecting you since 2008!
Fragmented Thoughts From the Crossroads
Soul selling works and that’s why the Soul Exchange Authority exists. So if you’re ready to add some infernal flavour to your life or you simply want the coolest cursed paperwork this side of the veil…
Visit SoulExchangeAuthority.com
Where all deals are final and refunds are discouraged.
Stay Weird
ЯYΛП MΣПƬIƧ
International Man of Mischief
Founder of The Temple of Mentis
Summoner of The Oddsock Oracle™