I know some of you have been wondering where I have been.
So allow me to fill you in…
It goes a little something like this:
I’d just left Asda and was waiting for the little green man to let me know when it was safe to cross.
BANG! Next thing I knew, I’d been zapped and had a black sack over my head. When I woke up, I was on the floor of what felt like the back of a van. My mind was racing,
I’d paid my Spotify bill, so it couldn’t possibly be about that…
Could it? This was different, it felt too extreme for a late payment.
“H-H- Hello, who’s there? ” I said, feeling slightly panicked. “Pipe down.” someone grunted back at me. “What do you want with me?” I asked.
“You’ll find out soon enough.” They replied.
When the hood was finally removed, All I could see was glossy white walls and bright neon lights.
I’d been stripped of everything; they didn’t even leave me with any sillystring!
A rather large gentleman with a big bushy moustache said I’d been taken to a top-secret facility just off the border of UGC 1101 and I was to be kept there until the next pick up. I had no idea what he was on about so I just asked him for some food and water.
I soon found out that I’d inadvertently upset some Inter-galactic Quantum Lord whilst slightly drunk at a party in Bristol! (I think it was my dancing)
I was to be kept imprisoned for a total of 14 Quintillion Nano Quants (This roughly equates to about 23 and a half days!)
To be fair to the Quantum Lords, they were good fun whilst I was there, we drank moonshine and sang into the wee hours.
Enough of your nonsense… Where have you really been?
But the Quantum lord stories are more interesting.
I don’t care about the Inter bloody galactic Quantum lords!!!
Just tell me where you’ve been for the past year!
Alright, calm down. I’ve had a lot of personal issues to sort out… My wife took ill and was rushed into hospital.
As a result of all the stress I started to suffer with depression badly and I just kept myself away from the world. I let my website expire, stopped going to the gym, stopped writing, stopped socialising with friends’ etcetera etcetera.
Anyway I put the blog back online about a month ago, it has a slightly different look and feel to it now. I’ve uploaded most of my old blogs as I was sensible enough to psychically back them all up.
I’ve started writing again and I have some great reviews, interviews and ideas to share with you all.
I have a new newsletter and contact page, so make sure you subscribe to my occasional (ish) newsletter and use the contact page to send any questions, suggestions or even just to say hi.
Lastly if any of you good people would like to write an occasional blog post, share your ideas or even just rant. Then please get in touch, I’d love nothing more than to share your thoughts with my readers.
Thank you all for being patient with me and I’ll see you in the next post.
Adios
Ryan